People Watching: Beach

Every time I go to the beach, my mom and I always like to watch people. It is kind of our guilty pleasure. It is also a great way to pass the time when I forgot to bring a book along with me. I will share with ya’ll my top four most memorable people I watched today (sounds very stalkerish like, but I am not a stalker). The first two people are an elderly couple. The woman was wearing a two pieces leopard print bathing suit and a white cover up that zipped down the front. The man she was with (I am going to assume it is her husband, but you never know) was wearing a very short blue bathing suit bottoms, a gold chain around his neck, a white and blue hat, and rocking the white mustache and beard combo. They were literally strutting their stuff down the beach without a care in the world. It was like they were young kids, still in love and didn’t care what anyone thought about them. Plus, they had some good looking bodies for elderly people. I have to admit, the woman had a better body than I do right now. Then there was a woman that looked like a walking lobster. She was wearing a bikini and had the worst sunburn I have ever seen. The shade of red that was covering her body looked so painful that I felt it from my seat. Even when I am slightly burnt, I am not feeling like wearing a bikini the next day and walking under the sun. This woman had some major “burnt” balls to come out into the sun with the condition she was in.

My final favorite person was this young, ginger kid. This boy was around the age of twelve and was walking along the beach by himself. Well, he was not walking. He was doing jumps in the air, cartwheels, walking on his hands, and doing some more intense gymnastic moves. Everyone that was able to see this little boy was watching him. It was like he was preforming for the last time and wanted to give everyone a grand, last show. It was the craziest and the most awesome thing I have ever witnessed while people watching on the beach. This young boy was whipping out so many moves that at one point, when he paused, there was a crowd clapping for him. I even found myself clapping for this kid. As he kept moving down the beach, I could spot him from his bright orange hair. I wanted to follow him to see what other moves he had up his sleeve, but the effort of getting up and moving from my chair was a little too much for me. Every time I come to the beach, there are always new people that come down and there are always new things that happen. Today was a very successful people watching day on the beach. All the other people that did not make it into my top four were just as intriguing. This is why I do not get up and walk down the beach, because I know the same thing is happening to me. I am being watched by people and I can not handle that. Oh well.

Embarrassing Moment: Golf Tournament

This was my second time at any golf tournament. Last year I went and actually ended up enjoying the experience and falling in love with golf and their handsome golfers. My favorite golfer is Rory Mcilroy (surprise). When I went on Saturday, my mom and I went to when he went to tee off. We arrived fifteen minutes before his time and there was a massive crowd of people surrounding my man. I walked around to the back of the ropes and squeezed tightly into the crowd. I got one tiny opening to see my man and I was not about to do the same thing on Sunday. When I arrived the next day, I made to sure to be waiting for Rory thirty minutes before his tee off time and waited by the area I knew he walked passed the crowd. When his time came up, I glanced around and saw him. He was wearing his beautiful, blue Nike shirt and white pants. He look stunning as always and I was about to be two feet away from him. Rory turned the corner and walked passed me. I stared him down until he made eye contact with me and I could feel the star shock and something else rumbling in my stomach. After Rory took is spot to tee off, I figured out what the other thing rumbling in my stomach was…. I turned to my mother and told her that I need to run to the bathroom immediately before there was going to be a big, ugly stain on my blue dress (yes Rory and I matched). I dashed through the crowd and marked my second embarrassing moment at the golf tournament.

My first most embarrassing moment at the tournament occurred on a Saturday. Mom told me it was going to be really hot, so I decided on what to wear that was good enough for warm weather and cute enough for Rory. I wore this light orange romper that had an open back, so my brilliant mind decided that sticky boobs would be the perfect bra to go with this outfit. Wrong. There was zero open shade at the tournament on Saturday. Everyone and there mother, brother, cousin, and grandpa were there and every little piece of shade was already taken. I was having heat flashes every ten seconds. My mom had two tickets to sit in the tent that was on the fourteenth, but I was determined to follow Rory. Second mistake. The sweat just kept dripping off every inch of my body. While I was walking up the massive hill toward the eighth hole I felt my sticky boobs pealing from my skin. Plop! The sticky boobs fell off and and the belt around my waist caught them. I had to dig down my arm hole to pull the bra out of my romper and under my arm pits. Then I shoved them into the tiny sized bag I had and hoped to God no one saw my hot mess-ness. Thankfully I made the rest of the two days without any other embarrassing moments. Well any other major ones. There was a couple trips that ended with me landing on my face, but that happens more than often.

Cat Person

I have had the same white, fluffy cat since I was seven years old. Her name is Precious, but sometimes she is far form that. There is this trend called cat lady. I am not at that exact point in my life yet and neither is my mother, but I think my cat has become a lady cat. Yes, that is not very creative, but you should get the point. Let me expand on this idea. Most people who are considered cat ladies are obsessed with their cats that they sometimes consider them as actual people or their own children. My mom literally thinks that my mother is her mother. We got Precious when she was a baby kitten and she has been with us for eleven years. Over that time, Precious and I have never been perfect pals, because I like to miss with her and that aggravates her all the time. My mom just leaves her and be and does her thing. Precious has grown an attachment to that. Since going away to college, I have noticed that my cat is obsessed with my mother. It is the little things that I pick up on.

Whenever my mother gets up from the couch or the chair, my cat follows her wherever she is going, even if it is two steps into the kitchen. When Precious hears the garage door open, she be sitting by the door waiting for her and if it is me instead, Precious will stay there waiting! When my mother and I are eating, Precious will not go bother my mother, but she will come get all up in my personal space, because she knows not to bother her. Precious is also very fond of shoes and feet. I don’t know why, but it is her thing. If I put a pair of my shoes next to a pair of my mom’s shoes, Precious will go lay down on my mom’s shoes, because that’s my cat. Now this post may sound like I am a little jealous of my very own cat and part of that may be true, but I am so weirded it by how my cat has become a lady cat. I guess old age can make you act weird and if you are a cat then the weird affect is very apparent.

Pale Life Only Life

My mom always tells me that I have my father’s olive colored skin. I don’t know if she is color blind or is trying to make me feel better, because I am far from that natural tan look some people are blessed with. I might as well be related to Casper the Friendly Ghost, because we have the same color of “skin” (I don’t know what a ghost has). My mom is one of those moms that is one-hundred perfect against tanning beds. Skin cancer runs wild in my family, so anything that I can do to dodge it is a must. I do not have a lot of time to lay out in the sun and naturally tan as well. I know I may not seem like a busy bee, but I always have to be doing something. Laying out and just staring at the sky gets me so anxious that I just cannot stay in that one position for hours! All of my friends are extremely tan that some of them look like they are another race. It is the funniest thing when I take pictures with them. They are so tan and picture perfect in their bathing suits and there I am, at the end, in my paler than pale skin wearing shorts and a crop top, because I am so out of place.

The best part is that I am usually wearing a white shirt, so I blend in with my clothing. To fix my problem, I decided to get a spray tan today. The last time I ever got a sprat tan was my senior prom. It was also the first time I got a spray tan. I decided this was a better idea than the self applying lotion tanner, because the last time I experimented with that did not turn out as planned. It was my junior prom and my hair stylist put my hair up in this gorgeous low bun, but I forgot to apply the lotion tanner to the back of my neck! The rest of my body was this perfect dark glow, but the back of my neck showed my true Casper color. When I went to go get my make up done, the lady had to apply foundation to the back of my neck and blend it in to the rest of my skin. Embarrassing then but looking back on the situation it is hilarious. When I get my spray tan today all I can think about it that it misses one HUGE spot somewhere on my body and my true color peaks through. Oh well, guess I have to own the fake tan that I so desperately need at times.

Backup Plans

Now that my first year of college is over, I am finally back home for the summer. All my mom keeps asking me about is what my final grades are and to be honest I am going to prolong looking at my final grades for as long as possible. I know that I slacked off during the second semester, because college. I don’t really need any more of an excuse other than I was a college freshman and I was feeling the freedom every other day. I have been trying to come up with some more credible excuses that my mom would be able to accept, but I have yet to come up with anything. I will be accepting any creative ideas that are able to trick parents into thinking that it is the school’s fault for my below par grades and not their perfect, sweet child. Since, I have not been feeling my grades lately, I have started to think of some backup plans that do not necessarily need a college degree for me to work there. Here are the top five backup plans that I have:

1. Stripper- every girl in college has had this thought cross their head, whether they are willing to admit it or not

2. Shark Tank- if I am able to come up with some crazy, genius idea then I would without a doubt go on Shark Tank and win them over.

3. A secretary (aka executive assistant)- I would not let my feminism get in the way if my boss looked like Leonardo DiCaprio

4. Small Business Owner- I could always be a fashionista and open up a little boutique and then I would be able to get a lot of free clothes and save myself some money

5. Artist: maybe is I am able to become the female Jackson Pollack then I can make a real living off of this (after I a dead)

If there are any more ideas that anyone has then that would be greatly appreciated. I need all the backup plans I am able to get! Hopefully I will be able to get my stuff together and produce better grades in the coming years, but if not then I will see you guys in the clubs or on TV.

Triumphant

Today, I had my history exam. I showed up to the class ten minutes before the exam started and a lot of other people were there as well. One girl came up to me and asked how I felt. I felt really confident in what I knew. History has always been an easy subject for me, but the other people around me were not feeling the same way. One girl was freaking out because she was unable to remember two words and she kept mixing up dates. Some people were reviewing their notes and whenever they got the answer wrong they would get upset.

My confidence level was taking a hit.

When the professor finally decided that five minutes after the exam should have started was a good time to show up we all filed into the room. I glanced around at my fellow classmates and some people were so nervous. I don’t understand why, because I only studied for this exam the day before and an hour before I went to the class. One girl said that she had been studying since Monday and felt like she knew nothing. Maybe I was being a little too cocky. I tried to put myself in check and review in my head the vocab words, but I knew them. When the professor passed out the test, I glanced over the IDs and knew most of them like the back of my hand. The best part was that the essay she chose was the one I know as well as I know mac and cheese. I got this. I flew through that exam. I don’t like to brag too much about how well I did on tests, because if I get a bad grade then I basically jinxed myself, but I did a pretty fine job on that exam. I walked out of that room like a Victoria Secret model walks down a runway during their annul fashion show.

Things That Annoy Me

Wanna know something that really gets under my skin? People that think they know everything about me or someone else. One day my friend was talking about her boyfriend and someone that went to school with us was like “Oh yeah that is so him.” Neither of us knew who this kid was and neither did her boyfriend. My favorite type of know it all person is the one that talks shit about everyone. Like please tell me more about my life that I do not know anything about according to your important opinion. This person is apparently the “fly on the wall” in my life and they know more facts about me than I do. The shit talkers are the ones that know anything and everything about everyone. Their amazing new facts about me have opened my eyes to my life. I have been living this life, but according to them I have living my WHOLE life completely wrong and I have been doing A, B, and C. These types of people would be the perfect specimens to become life coaches. They already know so much “truth” about other people’s lives that everyone should listen to what they have to say.

I have so many “life coaches” that I hear something new about my life every other day. It is so fascinating that I have the time to be doing all these other things. I thought I have been in bed watching Netflix or studying at the library. I think it is time to finally let everyone know the truth. I have an evil twin sister. She has been going around town and dragging my name into the mud. That must be what is going on. I am the boring twin who sits at home with a bag of Apple Jacks and watches The Office on a Friday night, while she goes out and sluts it up around town. She must have gotten loose, but I was so sure that she wasn’t going to be able to escape her cage this time. Well, now that the truth is out maybe everyone that has something to say about my life can get the hell out of it. It is obviously not me, because my evil twin is stirring up trouble once again for everyone. I am going to apologize on her behalf. Sometimes people’s imaginations just get the best of them and think that she is me. A better idea would be for know it alls to just shut up. If you see my twin tell her I say hey!